February 28, 1953

Cambridge, U.K. – Francis Crick and James Watson walked into The Eagle pub this afternoon and announced “We have discovered the secret of life” — by which they meant DNA. Upon hearing this news, a female labmate of Crick and Watson named Rosalind Franklin also came forward with her unpublished work that shows that she was actually the first on the team to find the double helix structure of DNA which was essential to the discovery. Franklin claimed that Crick and Watson had used her research without crediting her and demanded fair recognition for her contribution to the findings. However, before Franklin could show her receipts, a pubgoer shouted, “Shut up woman, a man is talking!” Owing to the fairness of his point, society has subsequently agreed to give all the credit to Crick and Watson entirely. What an annoying woman.